Black Friday

There has been a very amusing image circulating the internet saying "Because only in America people trample each other for sales exactly one day after being thankful for what they already have." The first couple of times that I saw it, I found it amusing and just laughed. I have gone to Black Friday sales the day after giving thanks. It seems that Black Friday has become such an integral part of Thanksgiving just like the turkey, mashed potatoes, pecan pie and football. People prepare, decorate, eat and shop.

As an outsider to this tradition of eating and shopping (my family has now only adopted the cooking and eating part), I have began questioning the idea of Black Friday. First and foremost, I remember being incredibly exhausted, hunting sales and dealing with unforgiving shoppers. Yes, I do remember buying cool things and being ready for Christmas gifts, but before Black Friday, I also bought cool things and Christmas gifts. Is there a real need to buy and trample each other?

I think we would all agree that the answer is no. No, there is no need to leave your family to go shopping. One woman that CNN interviewed said she skipped Thanksgiving dinner just to get in line outside Target although she didn't even need anything. She hasn't missed Black Friday sales for a couple of years and she seemed to be proud of this. Contrasting this story, the same CNN article also told the story of another woman who was in line to get one of the 50 TVs with discount. She is there not for herself but for a housing project that will benefit poor women with mental health problems. 

Regardless of the altruistic or non-altruistic motivation, these people were in line voluntarily. What about the employees of many stores such as Target and Wal-Mart that worked on Thanksgiving DAY? I don't think the extra pay is worth missing dinner with their families just to be mistreated by angry shoppers. The extra half hour per hour of pay is not even significant. Pizza Hut has recently been in the news for firing a store manager that refused to open Thanksgiving Day. Pizza Huts defense is that the manager quit, and the manager says he was forced to resign. Regardless of who did what, the man lost his job for wanting to his employees to spend time with their family. Where are our priorities?

So as I sit at home in the Netherlands, far away from Black Friday sales, in a town that before the economic crisis was a shopping point in Limburg, I am glad to be far from the sales. I am sure the store owners of Geleen would be more than happy to have their fair share of addictive shoppers boost their revenues, yet this has not driven them to focus on profit alone. Year-round, stores close between 5pm and 6pm and only open on "special" Sundays. People can easily have dinner with their families. No amount of shopping, sales or clothes can give you the warmth that family time does.

Happy Friday!

Happy Thanksgiving

Today is an extra special day for me. Today is a day to give thanks. This is something I try to do every day, but I like that in addition to that, there is a special day to give thanks.

I had spent the last couple of years preparing dinner for my family. I would make a delicious turkey, mashed potatoes, a different dish each year with sweet potatoes and another veggie dish. My sister would get dessert. Until last year she found the most delicious pumpkin pie in Mexico. My mom would assist me with the sweet potato and veggie dishes and with anything else that came up. My grandma was in charge of wine. We would set the table. Family would arrive with more desserts. We would wait impatiently for the turkey the last couple of minutes staring at it as if that would make it cook faster. Once the turkey was ready, my cousin would help with the gravy. He quickly became a gravy-making expert! Then we would sit and I would have trouble carving the turkey. I would swear that next year I would learn how to properly carve the turkey. Everyone ate delicious food. Everyone would be stuffed. A typical Mexican remark would be mentioned for my cooking, "Ya te puedes casar." You can already get married. After dinner we would have to beat my grandma to clean and do the dishes. It was a great event, probably bigger than Christmas.

This year, I am far away from my family and it didn't seem reasonable to make a whole turkey. There are definitely wonderful people to make it for, but the audience of this feast is my family. Only my mom puts up with my moodiness as I try to do everything on my own and become the dictator of the kitchen. Only my sister would drive all over town getting all the last minute things and still dress to impress. Only my grandma would not pay attention to me when I told her she could not do the dishes. And yet I live with a wonderful friend and partner for whom I would like to make this wonderful feast. I went to the grocery store early and was lucky enough to find a nice thick turkey filet. I will prepare it as closely as I can to my turkey recipe. I will make a small portion of mashed potatoes, grilled veggies and I bought some delicious French bread. We will have a small Thanksgiving dinner just us three: Riccardo, Mona and me. We have a lot to be thankful for and tonight we will dine and drink to that.

This year has been especially great. I am a very fortunate person because even though life hands me a couple of hardships to overcome every once in a while, once the storm is gone, there is plenty of sunshine. Since last Thanksgiving I have made new friends and re-kindled with old ones. I have traveled and eaten delicious food. I have had friends visit me in Mexico. I have started to learn a new language (5th one)! I have moved half way across the world for love. I have walked around four countries in two weeks with my mom and grandma. I have become even closer to my baby sister. I have taken up writing seriously. I have learned to travel in trains and how to dress for cold weather. I have made a wonderful new home with Riccardo and Mona. I have learned so much about myself and I am working to become a better person. It has been a wonderful year and all that I can do is say thank you. Thank you to God, to life, to my family, to my friends.

I am very fortunate to have family all over the world, and, although I would very much like for everyone to live nearby, they are all in my heart. Everyday. Everywhere.

Happy Thanksgiving and Happy Hanukkah!

I dreamt of...

I dreamt of a place where I could see anything. A place where I could learn about everything and everyone. A place that would inspire me as well as let me inspire. I dreamt of such a place and woke up here. 

For Doris Lessing

While I was having tea at my favorite place in Maastricht, the church turned bookstore I had already mentioned, I came upon this quote:

"There is only one way to read, which is to browse in libraries and bookshops, picking up books that attract you, reading only those, dropping them when they bore you, skipping the parts that drag-- and never, never reading anything because you feel you ought to, or because it is part of a trend or a movement. Remember that the book which bores you when you are twenty or thirty will open doors for you when you are forty or fifty-- and vice versa. Don't read a book out of its right time for you." -Doris Lessing

I have often been asked how to pick out a good book at a bookstore or library. Perhaps people assume that because I read a lot, I have some sort of insight. The truth is that there really is no science to picking out a book. I walk around bookstores a lot, trying to control myself so as not to damage my pocketbook, and I pick up books. I see the cover, the title, read the back, sometimes I even open it up to a random page and read. Sometimes good covers and titles get you good books, and sometimes they frame you into buying bad books. I read articles and reviews about books and I write down the names of the books that interest me (I have started doing this in an attempt to buy books when I can afford them rather than when I want to...this is the hardest type of economizing I've ever done). The truth is that there is no formula in picking a good book. The reader, the book and the timing in the reader's life make it a great book or a terrible one. But like anything in life, this is a matter of trial and error. 

I've found myself going back to this bookstore every day that I am in Maastricht. Although there is an English section, I have tried to avoid it. Part of the reason for avoiding it is because I have a kindle now (I sold my book-soul) and although I miss the paper on my hands, I thoroughly enjoy the lightness, the mobility and even the estimated time to finish a book that it provides. The second reason and the most important one is that I yearn to walk around that bookstore and pick up any book that catches my eye and perform the same selection ritual I have already mentioned in this post. I am waiting to solve this mystery of language, to decode dutch and make it my own, and continue this never ending love affair with books in a different language. Soon!

Sinterklaas did come into town!

This is just a quick visual follow up on the last post. I attended the Sinterklaas events in Maastricht and Geleen. Children as well as adults were very happy and joined in the festivities. The Piets gave away lots of candy and children of all ages dressed up as Piets...there were a few Sinterklaases but the main costume was Piet. What a beautiful celebration :)

Musical Piets in Maastricht

Sinterklaas in Maastricht

Sinterklaas in Geleen

Sinterklaas and Piet in Geleen

Sinterklaas is coming to town!

On November 16 Sinterklaas arrives to the Netherlands from Spain by boat. He comes bearing gifts for the children that have been good and visits the whole country until his departure on December 6th. The night before he leaves, children leave a shoe out where Sinterklass will place the presents and candy he has brought, and some even leave carrots for Sinterklaas's horse. This tradition is just as strong and alive as Santa Claus is in many other countries.

The tradition of Sinterklaas may date back to pre-Christian Europe with the pagan figure of Odin who was a God that the Germanic people worshiped. There is also the post-Christian tradition of Saint Nicholas who was the bishop of present day Greece, as after being canonized, became the patron saint of children. After being "banned" from Dutch traditions during the 16th and 17th century, Sinterklass sprung back to Dutch culture in 1850 thanks to the book Saint Nicholas and His Servant by the schoolteacher Jan Schenkman. It is after this book that Sinterklaas became the figure that he is today.

It is during this time that the Netherlands had many colonies, and like other emerging countries had slaves. It is because of this historical background that Zwarte Piet or Black Piet accompanied Sinterklaas; he was his slave. Other people argue that Zwarte Piet was not really black nor had African decent. His name has such word because he represented evil and not a certain ethnic group. Considering Sinterklaas was a bishop, this claim seems to be accurate as the Catholic church has, throughout its history, tried to scare followers away from evil. 

It is Zwarte Piet, an important character in such an old tradition, that has recently scandalized the world, and even caused concern from the United Nations. Not too long ago Zwarte Piet was depicted with big lips, afro hair and bright colored clothes. Although Piet's attire has lost the big lips and afro, Zwarte Piet has a distinct black face. The United Nations has gone as far as to appoint a commission  to investigate this celebration because some people feel Zwarte Piet is discriminatory.  

However, if you ask children and adults that grew up with the Sinterklaas tradition, they will tell you that Piet has a black face because he goes down the chimney to leave toys in children's shoes. His face, people assure, is black because of soot and not race. There is no recolection of Piet being a slave nor is he feared. Children look forward to seeing Piet because Piet is the one that gives candy and toys and makes jokes and has fun, while Sinterklaas is respectfully feared because he decides who has been good and who will receive presents.

So what can the Netherlands and its people do against these acussations of racism despite the fact that there are large numbers of immigrants and immigration procedures, compared to those of other countries, are welcoming? How do you adapt this tradition so that any hint of discrimination or racism disappears? Who should interfere?

My answer is very simple. The United Nations has no jurisdiction over cultural traditions nor can the Dutch government as an entity change it. The Netherlands is a democracy. It is the people who need to bring about this change. And how? By referring to Piet as just Piet, by making the soot of the chimney look like soot and not a skin color, by having Piets of different ethnicities in parades and stores and images and even storybooks. And more importantly, by embracing this holiday and enjoying it just as the children do, with no hint of discrimination, ill will or anger.

The Netherlands has been in some aspects a pioneer for equal rights and freedom of choice. This change is not really a change to the tradition but rather a better portrayal of who the dutch are? What image would the dutch want it to be?

Languages, writing and immigrants

I recently read an article about a dutch writer, Pia de Jong, who moved to the U.S. and was finding it difficult to write in English. She states that "she wasn't prepared for what the loss of (her) native language would mean for her."I have often felt this "loss" given the fact that I have moved. Although I am from Mexico, I do not consider Spanish to be my native language, however, I am from the U.S. so saying that my native language is English is often met with baffled faces. After five years of pondering about this issue, I have made peace with the fact that both Spanish and English are my native languages, but the only language that I truly cultivated for writing was English. As opposed to what de Jong says, I find English to be a very rich language, but I am aware that the richness I find is my own creativity. Conversations, novels, poetry and even communicating with a significant other have always been more fruitful in English. 

And yet, what can an immigrant writer do to continue writing and publishing? I often asked myself this when I lived in Mexico and would write. Everything I wrote was in English and the places to publish in English were few. What I came up with back then was to teach myself to write in Spanish. I often did, and, although I wasn't completely satisfied, I did improve. Since I have always spoken in Spanish with my family, it wasn't too hard. I had a Spanish speaking voice, I just needed to work on my Spanish writing voice. However, I am in the same conundrum once again. I will now live in the Netherlands and will once again be faced with the obstacles of writing, but this time the obstacle will be a bit tougher. I am barely learning Dutch, and although I have a knack for languages, writing in Dutch will be a whole new adventure. I have no Dutch voice. I will have to acquire this voice as I learn the language and adapt to living in the Netherlands. De Jong states in the article that she just couldn't find richness in the English language because "the Dutch have several words to describe their long light at the end of the day; Americans use only two: 'dusk' or 'twilight.'" The truth is that as I write this, I do not know how to say dusk or twilight in Dutch and this is just a small sample of the hundreds of Dutch words I do not know. 

The wonderful part to this conundrum is that I want to learn. I want to write and read and talk and think in Dutch and Spanish and English and Italian and French and whatever new language I decide to learn in a couple of years. I want to find the richness in the five languages I know. Perhaps I can start a new literary genre: the immigrant genre where one story, one novel, one poem, one essay can have a few words in a different language because the writer just couldn't find that sentiment or image in just one language. Languages given us more options to express ourselves. Wouldn't it be wonderful to exploit this in writing?

**The Dutch words I found for "twiling" and "dusk" are schemering, avondschemering, schemerlicht, schemerdonker, schemeravond, and halfdonker.**

To read de Jong's account please click on the following link: Washington Post: Finding my voice in a new language